i-was-so-alone-and-i-lokid-you:
“hey baby i got us a bottle of wine” you say. the baby stares back at you confused. why are you giving a baby alcohol. you are disgusting
Just so we’re clear if I say “shut up” and you say “make me” I am instantly thinking about making out with you
also just so we’re clear if you say “shut up” and i say “make me” that is most definitely an invitation to make out with me
(Source: hikaruchord)
Agent Coulson has taught me that if you deny a character death completely, that character will come back.
i’m really gay. like 5 whole gay
a dude at the gym just reached in his bag, pulled out a bottle of Hershey’s chocolate syrup, smiled & shook his head like that’s just something that happens to people, put it back and then pulled out a bottle of water instead
*wakes up from nap that I didn’t know I was taking*